Today, I actually felt really pissed at someone! Just felt like going up to confront that person! It's like, argh.

But of course I didn't.

And it made me feel so bad for one WHOLE day. It was simmering inside me, this feeling that refused to fade away. During maths lesson I kept thinking about it!

During Integration FA, I kept thinking about it!

It's like, this horrible dreadful feeling stuck in my heart somewhere and not letting me breathe properly.

(okay a bit exagerrated lah ahaha but you get the idea lah)

You know, when you're feeling quite annoyed and you feel like confronting someone but yet you don't think it's REALLY wise to do it, that kinda feeling?

Yes, I had that feeling. It was brooding inside me!

%@$!@$^%!$@^%!%^!!!!

Sheesh. Why am I so COWARD.

WHY AM I ALWAYS SO COWARDLY?!

Grrr. Can't stand my coward-ness sometimes. Like don't even dare to do anything and just let it stay in my heart and simmer. Forever and ever.

Until one day, that person does something nice for me and I actually totally forget about it!

Forget about all the terrible stuff. The sun comes out and shines again! The birds chirp and the flowers bloom!

Like, wtf right.

I need courage.

And some patience. And please open up my heart to understand and hopefully, forgive. Thank you.

PS: I actually have a strange feeling that my confrontation will come soon. Or either that person will confront me first due to my cold and don't-really-wish-to-talk behaviour. Haha. We'll see.
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Why.

Thursday, September 11, 2008 @ 3:52 PM

I can't believe you actually did that. 

Sigh. I'm disappointed with you.

While there was confusion, while everybody was talking,

I just kept quiet, looking at your very innocent look.

My imploring eyes stared at you, hoping that you would admit it anytime soon.

You did not even meet my eye, and

pretended nothing was going on.

.

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You put on quite a show.

After that, I just closed my eyes and wondered why you even did that. 

The images of you and that innocent look just flashed through my mind. And I remembered other instances.

I felt pretty disturbed.

Wolf in disguise. Can't believe everyone thinks you're so sweet, and innocent and... nice.

Was it that difficult to own up?

. . .

The only reason why I didn't say anything is because I am your friend. 

Sigh.

I feel quite disgusted.

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Oreo Cheesecake.

Saturday, September 06, 2008 @ 4:52 AM

Whoops. I know, haven't posted for long. It's 4:25am now and I've been doing some Math.

Also just finished baking a cheesecake for Henry and his Mom!

I'm going to his house tomorrow and decided I would bake something with the oven that his Mom gave me.

Anyway, I love baking cheesecakes especially with a water-bath.

It's extremely therapeutic and the whole kitchen is filled with a oreo and vanilla smell now. I added some vanilla in for some extra kick.

Damn yummy.

It's raining now too. I love the smell of rain combined with freshly baked cheesecake on a cold Saturday morning.

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