I have been feeling sad starting today.

My friend just told me some stuff which was so hurting and I don't know why she said it.

If another person told me that, I wouldn't have cared. But for goodness' sakes, she's my friend.

At least, I see her as one. Perhaps she got a huge load of her shoulders. And I admit I was just being strong in the first place and trying to reassure her that things are better now but I think she could felt it that it ain't.

But right now I'm damn hurt.

Damn damn hurt.

And it's not often I feel so hurt, and weak, and broken that I feel like crying.

And to someone else,

Idon'tevenknowwhototrustanymore.
I'mdefinitelygoingtostayawayfromyoufromnowon.

Sigh. I just feel like such a _ _ _ _ _ _ _, all of a sudden.

Things were still going bright and cheery two days ago.
I don't know what's going on now.

When I think about what's going on in my life, tears just threaten to spill out and run down my face. Seriously. I'm damn sad. And I don't know why. It's probably a culmination of all things that I want to run away from but yet I can't.

I want to run away
Run away from you
From you
And all this mess;

I have a sudden urge to eat some ice cream and just fill my days with yellow and forget about all these. I have a sudden urge to just be like a child again, and do things that children would do to forget about their worries. Like, go fly a kite or something.

But when you're getting older, maturing, and becoming an adult. The rose-tinted glasses fall off and the world just turns so much clearer. Sometimes you see so much stuff at one time, stuff that you don't wanna see, don't wanna hear.

But you do. And it just becomes so startlingly clear.

When you're an adult, you're expected to make decisions on your own. To talk things out. To come to a conclusion.

But so far, everything is going wrong.

Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong.

What else?

Please, Lord.
Give me some strength.

I need You.
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