Automatic

Thursday, July 07, 2005 @ 8:07 PM

You know the feeling you get when you look at a special somebody? It's like this whoosh feeling that rushes through your body and your heart starts beating faster. I had the experience before, with somebody I barely knew. I'm writing this poem to relive the experience again.

(I'm now writing in the eye of a third person.)

What I like about you

Your eyes, the way they stare at me
When I walked towards you
Armed with the best smile I can pull off
I slide my hands around my phone
And clasp it close
Three steps away
My smile fades off
As I see you,
Faceless.
Two steps away.
Still staring at me
You with your friend,
Facing me
In a bright lit corner of the local music store
I turn towards you
And see you shove a vaguely printed sheet
Towards my slender waist
With cursive notes
Like strangers standing
Precariously on the edge
You want to talk, I can tell
But you seem to have nothing to say
At a moment like this
When we finally meet.
I motioned a gesture,
Looking shyly at you and your friend
I don't know what you're thinking
But I take the score anyway
We continue the charade for a moment
A burning feeling creeps up
Just you and me, so quiet.
I want to say something
To break the awkward silence
But I see that you are
Turning away
What a dissapointment, you must have thought
And me?
The feeling's mutual
As I turned towards the door
In a half daze
Wondering about the conversations we have shared
They don't seem to mean a thing now
Do they?
Your friend would probably have thought likewise.
My day seems shattered
I walk around aimlessly on the streets
Thinking about 24 minutes ago
Oh, I wish it hadn't happened.

54 minutes later
I stand in the changing room
Trying on a new dress
My phone rings
I pick it up, thinking that it's Mommy
With a grimace

But

It's you,

With a smile.

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